FROM THE STOOL

MEMORY

Aging puts the old memory under lots of pressure when it comes to parking cars. You suddenly do not remember where in the lot – airport, shopping center, movie theater, ballpark, supermarket – you left your car. You find yourself avoiding the self-park and lock garages in favor of valets to avoid the embarrassment of wandering aimlessly trying to recall H or I.

As this lost car condition worsens, expensive pens, raincoats, umbrellas and sunglasses lose themselves. Even house keys and wallets remain on checkout counters or ticket windows after you have left. I found myself the other day frantically looking for my reading glasses only to discover I was wearing them.

For many years I drove my youngest daughter to school before she reached driving age. During the last stretch, on many occasions she had to remind me she was in the car or I would head straight for my office.

I forget when my problem remembering names started – probably when I was very young. This is a real disadvantage when you run a large company and are expected to know everybody. I have tried to develop all manner of diversions to avoid introducing people whose names suddenly dissolve, particularly when you have known or worked with them for decades. My wife of 26 years believes I call her “hon” because I don’t remember her name.

For the compulsive user of laptops/Palm Pilots all important dates are booted up daily. For the prehistoric calendar carrier, missed birthdays and anniversaries go hand-in-hand with lost cars.

I am blessed with a superb administrative assistant, an understanding wife and friends who appreciate a card or a call even if it is several months late. There are courses designed to help match the faces to the name – computers programmed to bolster our erratic synapses – assorted vitamins and organic food to refresh our focus. Inevitably, we require the good humor to accept the fact that older engines sometimes misfire.

There are some very reliable down home cures. A bowl – next to the garage entrance for all keys – an area close by for all briefcases – a blackboard in the bathroom to check off shaving, vitamin pills, bowel movements, etc.

From experience, the least reliable cure is asking someone else – wife, daughter, paramour – to remind you to pick up the laundry. For some reason it almost never works. The one bright spot – as the condition worsens - you don’t remember the condition.