Moderation in all things. If embraced, it would spell the end of Weight Watchers, AA, and traffic court. The reasons for organized religion, stress management and up to two-thirds of the health care industry might cease to exist.

If our leaders approached their peers and protagonists with moderation it might well end war and eliminate the defense establishment.

Moderating our need for speed – to be continuously entertained – to always be going somewhere – would dramatically extend the world’s supply of fossil fuels.

Moderation could do more to change the landscape than all the zoning boards and environmental commissions combined. We eat, drink and waste too much. No way for a moderate world to support a tavern on every block, a drive-thru on every corner, a casino on every reservation.

In fact, a moderate world would boarder on utopia – conflict free - stress and worry free. Hockey without fights. Football without injuries. Basketball without profanity.

The motel industry might well collapse in the absence of extramarital affairs. Pushing and shoving – a thing of the past.

No big boats – only small ones. An end to conspicuous consumption. An end to one-upmanship. Homogenization.

Utopia or misery? Would we enjoy life if we were never on the edge – never overserved – never at risk?

Would we have any fun in a truly monogamous world? If we did not have over achievers, would any of us realize our potential? Why war? Why alfalfa sprouts?

Too much of anything is probably not good for you, but not enough destroys resolve. Can anyone really enjoy one cashew, one beer, the odd cigar?

I have always preferred big bottoms to small. While all of my boats have been named Moderation, they have gotten progressively bigger, broader, and faster.

As I approach my 59th, I find it easiest to think on the stool, albeit somewhat harder to perform. When things you must do take longer, it gives you extra time to think. If this column survives, it will be from my stool bound perspective.

As we will hopefully become friends, I will introduce myself. Chicago is home. I am a moderately successful semi-retired business guy. An Olympic quality wife – 3 great kids – a few close friends – not much discipline – and an insatiable interest in sharing experience. A passion for boats, Vodka, cigars and tennis.

I won’t promise relevance or redeeming value. My only purpose is to entertain – both me and you. I will work hard to earn your interest, not your understanding or agreement. Not always likeable, but quirky.

The Lord and the internet willing, I hope you will come to find my stool-time musings fun. I am an average student of human nature – no Rhodes scholar – but a humanist with a sense of humor. Not a joke teller but a practical joker.

I have a bad back, a lousy sense of direction, but a pretty fair backhand. I love onions, garlic and hot peppers. I loathe stewed figs. I do little in moderation.